The Final Buzzer – Preparing as a Parent for Life After Youth Sports
What Nobody Tells You As a Sports Parent
When my son was in second grade, he came home from school one day with a piece of paper and said “Mom, I want to join hockey.” I tried my hardest to talk him out of it. His dad and I were not athletes growing up at all. I knew nothing about being a parent in youth sports except that hockey was very expensive and very time consuming. I didn’t think he would stick with it because he had never even had a pair of skates on before. But somehow, he talked me into it. And stuck it out for 9 years. On that day, I never dreamed he would be involved in multiple sports and that I would be looking down the barrel of his senior year preparing myself to hear that final buzzer for the last time.
Zach is headed into his senior year this fall. The sweet little boy who begged me to play hockey has turned into a very athletic, driven man in what seems like the blink of an eye. When I was a teenager, my grandma would always say the older you get, the faster time goes. I always thought that was so silly. But now, as I’m watching my kids grow up and prepare to leave the nest, I understand. Almost daily, I stand looking at the magnets on my fridge from Zach’s first year in hockey all the way to this past football season and I wonder where time has gone.
I’ve spent a lot of time lately reflecting back on all of those early days as we prepare for the final year. Hours spent sitting in cold arenas, living on concession stand food on weekends. Car shopping for a vehicle that is not only big enough for a family of 5 but also hockey gear and luggage. The thousands of miles of driving. The hockey tournament weekends and summer camp weeks that were turned into makeshift family vacations. Football seasons that started out at 90 degrees with mosquitoes everywhere and ended in needing to wear all your winter gear and still being cold. Not knowing a single thing about sports but getting a crash course in hockey, football, and basketball. And you know what? I would give anything to rewind time and go back and do it all over again.
Zach skated off the ice for the last time at the end of his freshman year of hockey. I had no idea that would be his last game. If I had known, it might have broken my heart even worse. He toughed out that season with a healing pelvis, but it was just such a struggle for him. After spending the summer in the gym and physical therapy trying to get his stride back, he thought he was going to be good to go. Football season went well that year. He could run just fine. But one week into hockey practice, He got up one morning and said “I can’t do it anymore, Mom. I just can’t get my speed back and it still hurts to skate.” And that was that.
I think we both mourned the end of his hockey days. We knew they were numbered as it was because the chances of playing college hockey are pretty slim, but to have it end so abruptly was a total shock to the system. I’ve watched our hockey family go through two seasons without us on social media, and it just still feels weird. Zach has struggled with it, too. I can tell when he watches hockey on tv with me that he misses it really bad.
I know when football starts in the fall, every game is going to be emotional. That final night when he walks off the field for the last time, I will have to take myself to the car and give myself a pep talk through tears. Nobody tells you about this part. Everyone talks about the pride you have for your child as you watch them play game after game that they love. We all know the joy when they score. The frustration of bad calls. The pain they feel when games don’t go their way. But we don’t talk about the emotional investment that we have as parents and the rollercoaster of that final season. You spend their entire childhood preparing them to grow up and be an adult. But when the time finally comes, you just aren’t ready. These little things like sports seasons ending for the last time feel like baby steps to prepare not only our kids but also us parents for them to leave the nest. But what if we’re not ready? What if we want them to stay our babies for just a little bit longer?
